Dearest dear Danny,
Snort a little regret, why don’t you? Yeah, inhale it deep.
Let it fill your soul and twist your mind, twist, twist, twisted, because we both know you’ve screwed our love over and need to pay. Don’t you want to suffer together? Snort and slip into dark euphoric, crazy-weird psychedelic spirals of colour?
From now on, it’ll distort every single little thing you will ever do. Our paths have separated, but you’ll never be able to give us up. The conscience makes your heart race so fast it hurts, doesn’t it? Your blood’s pumping remorse that’s so toxic, it feels like it could kill you…take the snorting nice and slow, cause you know…if you don’t, it just might.
Feel the pangs of anguished anxiety and panicked paranoia rock you upside-down. They stop you from thinking straight, seeing right. Dilating your baby brown pupils so wide open, you see hallucinations of us dancing, visions of our once promised happily ever after.
Happily never after!
You want to know what these visions are, hmm? They’re just the erratic ‘what if’s?’ your disturbed mind’s conjuring! Simply figments of your apologetic imagination, because when you’re no longer on your day-dream high, you know we’re truly over. Reality returns sooner or later, and the fantasies fade into nothing.
It turns your insides outside, don’t it? Soon, you’ll be on the ground, your body twitching restlessly, eyes rolling as the black powder particles of guilt and sorrow take over your system. You could’ve done this instead of that, been someone else, but no, you didn’t and you weren’t. It’s too late to turn back once the ruining begins. You can’t nose bleed it out, you know. It’s an addiction that you’re stuck with. A way of punishing yourself even though you don’t want to.
Love not, Ali