Saturday, 22 September 2012


A Maths lesson is a Western movie.
With screeching fast bullets of white chalk firing against the blackboard, bang, bang, whizzing, bang!
“YEHA! Let’s get to work class! What do you get when you call on a good cowboy to subtract a bad cowboy? Quick, think, how about one peaceful town and a happy, boot-scooting sheriff?!”
The front row student’s try their very best to duck the exploding bombs scattering flying saliva-debris. There’s a lot of it, and it comes straight from the teacher's shouting mouth. Oooh, a duel seems to be on, and it’s one class scoundrel against one class sheriff, who’s already seething most terribly. Two pairs of eyes exchange two, slow motion, close-up glares. And then…then, two hands reach for two duelling weapons – one is a mean, old detention slip, and the other, a nasty wad of already chewed and spit out gum.
The girls giggle coquettishly, hiding red-cheeked behind their fanning notebooks. They want the scoundrel to win, because even though the Principal has a ‘Wanted, dead or alive’ warrant out for him, he is still the dashing-est heart stealing bandit around. Besides that, no-one wants to be in a dull and dusty classroom scene, where death by boredom only occurs. A battle of words will be fought, but just like on the silver screen, nobody will really get hurt.
Even if later on, we find ourselves serving a lunch-time sentence, locked in a small square-shaped jail cell office. A tremble worthy place for all the lily livered cowards, awaiting their hanging, when its their turn to step up to the town sheriff's desk for marking. It’s a hard wait, for all have gotten red crosses by their names.
The atmosphere soon grows heavy. Only the victorious, whooping war cries of passing, skipping-class students in the hall, are filled with happiness. They're wild and free, while we're stressed and oppressed, calculating just how long we can stay alive for, before our eyelids droop shut.

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